I think I need to teach myself to be a committed kinda gal. Committed to my first, um, love.
But I kind of took that book in all sorts of zany directions. Pulled it this way and stretched it that way - until it got sort of pizza dough holey in the middle. It's really unrecognizable from the light and fluffy read it was before, when it all started.
I started to make it edgier. The MC got tougher, her situation got more terrible and her angst went away to be replaced by the stuff inner steel is made from. Scary.
I want to put it in the drawer as that first book you just have to write. But I was brought up very stringently; I was taught not to waste anything. How could I waste 61,000 words that I worked so hard to put together?
I am going to keep going at it. I don't care if I have this niggling thought that I'm going to end up like Arthur in Arthur Writes a Story. His story started off simple and sweet and ended up being a monstrous atrocity about purple elephants on planet smellafint.
Whine over, I really love 2011 so far. I got this wallet last month that says... well here it is:
And that's me. Well, except for this post. :)
I adore that wallet! Maybe instead of working on that novel, you could set it aside (not totally forget about it) and try working on something new. Maybe the new book will inspire what changes can be made on the old book to make it better.
Ummm, I love Arthur! :)
But seriously, if you decide to trunk this novel, you won't have wasted anything--first novels are such learning experiences. I wrote and [tried somewhat] to revise my first novel, anguished over it for about a year, and then realized it was worthless. At least from a publishing standpoint.
But I learned SO much from writing that book. I learned how to structure, how to create tension, how to gauge pacing, and how NOT to do any of those things. Without that novel, I think I'd still be flailing around in novel-less land.
Good luck, whatever you decide to do, and happy writing!
Cheyanne, totally true. (I've found that happening already.)
Shayda, major Arthur fan here as well. :)
And it's so interesting that we all seem to have to go through the same learning curves as writers.
I'm struggling with the realization that I may have to trunk this first one. Sob, but, eager to apply all my learning to something new.